RUDRA'S POV

The day I came back to the Singhania mansion, I saw her laughing. And a thought crept into my head, would she feel anything if I disappeared from her life?

Back then, I didn't have the courage to answer. I pushed it away because admitting it meant losing the only illusion that kept me sane. But now, watching her laugh so freely with Shaurya, the question rises again. And this time the answer is clear.

No.

The realization stings in a way I can't disguise, even from myself. I tried so hard to believe the lie, to live in that little delusion where I mattered, that my absence would leave a hollow in her world, that she would look for me if I was gone. But the truth doesn't bend for love or for longing. The truth stands here with me, I don't matter to her.

My eyes land on Shaurya. Her best friend. The man I've always despised because he seemed to be everything I wasn't. And the truth is, he isn't even trying. He's just himself. And that's enough. Once, a long time ago, I was like that too, someone who didn't have to prove his worth, someone untainted. Shaurya is the kind of man who looks like he belongs in the light. He is handsome without scars, polite without effort, charming without shadows, his past is clean, his future is uncomplicated. He's the kind of man any woman would want. The kind of man she wanted.

And then there's me. A mess of scars, inside and out. A ruined past, a discarded body, a life she never chose. I'm not a prince. I'm the man who forced her into a marriage she never wanted, knowing from day one she didn't love me. I knew it, and still, I kept her tied to me because I couldn't let go.

And her eyes know it. They've always known it. The way she looks at him is different. She looks at him like he's safe ground, while I'm the storm she has to survive. She smiles at him in ways I have begged the universe to see on her face for me. She hugs him like he's home. She's never hugged me like she hugs him. Hell, she's never hugged me at all, every embrace we've ever had has been because I pulled her into it thinking I could force affection out of empty air.

I can't stop comparing. Him and me. Light and rot. A man she could choose versus a mistake she was bound to. He's a chapter that makes sense, flowing in perfect sentences. I'm a page ripped out, half burned, unreadable. He is the man she deserves, the man who fits in her story. I'm the ink stain that ruined the page.

The truth is standing in front of me now. She can never love me. She will never love me. I will never be a part of her life by her choice. But Shaurya, Shaurya could be. The cruelest part isn't that she might choose him. It's that I understand why.

Because who would ever choose a man like me?

"He's the winner she loves, I'm the loser she barely notices." My vision blur until I can't see clearly anymore.

Through the glass, I watch her sitting in the café. She nods at Shaurya, with a small smile as she scrolls through her phone and taps something on the screen.

My phone rings. I answer without looking away from her.

"Where are you Rudra? We have to leave for the concert."

My throat tightens. I swallow hard, forcing the words out evenly. "I've got some work. I can't come. You and Shaurya should go." I hang up before she can respond. From this distance, I see her frown at the screen, then shake her head with a small smile when Shaurya says something to her.

I wipe the tears off my face with the back of my hand and head back to the room. As I close the door behind me, I dial Khalid.

"I'm not coming. Make sure she sits in her VIP seat. Keep eyes on her, all of you. Stay close."

"There's a man with her. What about him?" he asks.

I pause for a second. "He's her... close friend. Let him be. She's safe with him." I hang up and toss the phone onto the couch.

In the bathroom, I start unbuttoning my shirt. My reflection waits for me in the mirror, and for a moment I just stand there, and let my eyes travel over the scars that never let me forget who I am. Shaurya won't have ugly scars like these. He doesn't have a body that feels used up, damaged, or discarded. I do. And after everything, how could I ever expect her to choose me?

As much as I want to believe I matter, I know I can never stand where Shaurya does. He is better than me in every possible way. He was part of her life before I forced my way into it. He deserves her in ways I never can. I was the intruder who pulled her into my world against her will and held her there because of my own stubbornness. He belongs to her story. I crashed into it uninvited and forced her into mine, like shoving two puzzle pieces together that were never meant to fit. And now I am terrified of the day she finally sees it as clearly as I do.

It hurts more than I want to admit. I can already see where this path leads, back to being abandoned, back to being left behind. And the worst part is, I wouldn't blame her if she chose Shaurya over me because I was her burden, he is her choice. Logic tells me I deserve the abandonment that waits ahead. But the day I hear it from her lips, the day she confirms it, I know something inside me will break beyond repair.

My hands go to my pocket without thinking. I pull out the knife I keep for her protection and stare at the cold steel. It's supposed to guard her, to keep her safe from the world, but in my hands, it feels like it belongs to me just as much. Sharp enough to hurt her enemies, sharp enough to hurt me too.

--------------

I stand on the upper level of the arena, half-hidden in the dark leaning against the railing, watching her below. She's near the stage with Shaurya, caught in the crowd. Lights flashing in every color, bass rattling the floor, voices rising with the song. From up here I see everything, the way she leans closer to him to say something, the way her face glows under the strobe lights.

She's sharing the moments I dreamed of with her, with someone else's hand in hers.

She suddenly glances around, here and there then back to her phone. Every part of me wants to rush to her, pull her close, press my pain into her, tell her how much it hurts, but I know she wouldn't care.

I promised myself once that if I ever fell for her, I would cage her. Not for her good, not for hers to understand but for my own. And all this time, I did exactly that. I pulled her into my orbit, held her to me with stubborn hands, thinking possession could fill the void inside me. But now the truth hits me, she was never mine. She will never be mine. I am the only one still trapped in a prison of my own making while she moves freely in a world that never needed me.

"You will never know, Pearl, that every laugh you share with him sounds like my heart breaking in silence." I blink back the tears.

And maybe that's what this distance is telling me. Every laugh she shares with him is a warning. My scars, my failures, my obsession, they are my cage. The only chains that bind me are the ones I forged myself. She deserves sunlight, not my shadows. Shaurya is sunlight, and I... I am the ruins left behind when the fire dies.

I want to go to her, and yet every instinct screams that doing so would only tighten the cage I've built around my own heart. So I stay, silent, watching her belong somewhere I'll never reach. Maybe letting go isn't a weakness, it's the only kind of love I can still give her.

And perhaps the cruelest part of love is realizing that her happiness begins where I end.

I straighten up and glance at her one last time. "Once again... I lost my home."

AUTHOR'S POV

"Are you fine?"

Shaurya's voice brushes near my ear, pulling me out of the spiral in my head. I glance at him, forcing a small smile and nod, but the truth is I don't feel fine at all. I shouldn't have come here. That's all I keep thinking as my eyes move back to the stage where Dhruv sings under the spotlight.

I lower my gaze to the phone in my lap. The screen lights up, empty. Not a single message from him. I've checked it more times than I can count, but each time it's the same. There's this strange heaviness in my chest, and I can't tell if it's because of my illness or because of Rudra. I've grown so used to him being there, always close, that every second without him feels wrong.

I look around the crowd, scanning faces, turning to my left and right, hoping, just hoping that I'll see him. That he'll be here after all. But he isn't.

I bite my lip and unlock my phone again, opening our chat. My fingers hover over the keyboard. For a moment I just stare, breathing out a long sigh, before finally typing.

Are you okay, Rudra? Has your work not finished yet?

I hit send.

Something doesn't add up. Rudra is always there, no matter what stubbornly present in ways that both frustrate and comfort me. And now, suddenly, he's not here because of "work"? What if he isn't okay?

I close my eyes and swallow before opening them, glancing around to see Khalid talking with the other security staff. I dial his number, and he picks up almost immediately.

"I want to go back," I say, raising my voice over the noise.

He just nods, keeping his eyes on me.

I stand, grabbing my bag, and look at Shaurya. He frowns and rises too. I lean close to his ear. "I'm going back. I'm not feeling well. You can stay here."

He shakes his head. "I'll go with you."

-----------

We walk outside the venue.

"You didn't have to come with me, Shaurya," I say, stopping near the road.

He shakes his head. "It's fine. So, want to hit our old cafe? The one we used to go to back in university? And let's call Rudra too,"

I smile slightly. "He's a little busy, and... I hope you don't mind if I say no."

"Of course not." He shrugs. "By the way, your husband's choice is really good." He nods toward my outfit.

I chuckle. "Well, I accept it because I'm his choice too."

He clicks his tongue. "That's where I'd say it's... questionable."

I scoff. "Will you ever stop insulting me?" I roll my eyes. "By the way, I heard you went on a blind date. How was it?" I wiggle my brows at him.

"Well, it was good," he says, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Mom keeps nagging me that I'll grow old alone if I don't do something about it." He shakes his head.

I laugh. "Where's the lie?"

"Saanvi."

I look at him, still chuckling lightly. "Yeah?"

"You love Rudra, right?"

My smile falters. I take a slow breath. "I do."

He studies me for a moment before a small smile appears. "So you finally fell for him."

I rub my palm against the back of my hand. "I did."

"Happy?"

A bitter chuckle escapes me before I can stop it. "I cried a lot the moment I realized I loved him. It felt... unbelievable, even to think that."

"Not for me," he says simply.

I blink at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

He tilts his head. "The moment he came into your life, you changed. He brought out a side of you I'd never seen before. You were still you, but suddenly... more. More open, more expressive. You started showing feelings you used to hide, Saanvi. Whether you liked it or not, he broke through walls you never let anyone touch. That's when I knew. One way or another, he was going to find his way into your heart. So no, it doesn't surprise me at all."

My lips part, but nothing comes out. I close them again, unsure what I even want to say.

"Are you scared to trust him again?" he asks softly.

I bite down on my lip, because of course he's right, he always is. That's what makes him such a damn good friend. "I just... can't forget what he did, Shaurya. I can't erase those nights."

He nods, understanding. "That's fair. He shouldn't have done it. He hurt you, and that matters. I won't excuse it. But listen, this isn't about me, or anyone else. It's about you. You're the only one who knows what it feels like when he's around. I don't know the full picture of what's happening between you two. Only you do. You're the only one who notices the little things he does. So ask yourself this, does he truly deserve another chance? Has he shown you change, not just with words, but with actions that cost him something? If your heart says no, then don't give him what he hasn't earned. But if you see something real in him, something different... then maybe that's worth considering."

His actions make me feel like I should give him a chance, no, not even a chance, just throw myself into his arms, bury my face in his chest, wrap my arms around him and hold him so tight, and confess everything... how much I crave him every second, every breath. But then, those nights come back to me, the ones where I was on my knees, crying. I begged him for something as simple as mercy or care, those images won't leave. They burn behind my eyes, reminding me that no matter how much my heart aches for him, it has also been broken by him.

"I hope you give some thought to what I said."

I snap out of my thoughts and look at him, letting a small smile slip. "Sometimes it's important to have a philosophical best friend."

He rolls his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." He flicks his finger against my forehead.

I hiss and rub the spot. "Stop doing that, Shaurya. Or do you want to be killed?"

He only grins while I glare, but my attention shifts when I notice the car pulling up a short distance away. Khalid is waiting inside.

"Your ride's here," Shaurya says, nodding toward it.

"Yeah. I should go." I pause. "But before I leave, I want to say something."

He looks at me, "Yes?"

I take a deep breath. "You said the day I fall in love with someone, you'd move on. I think... it's time, Shaurya. You deserve to be loved. Someone who can love you back, someone you can share your life with, grow with, stay with."

He swallows, and for a moment, he doesn't respond. His chest rises and falls slowly, "I will."

I smile back, though it feels small compared to the weight I sense in him. He spreads his arms, and I step into the hug. "I'm sorry, Shaurya," I whisper. "If you could ever forgive me for hurting you like this."

"Some things aren't meant to be, Saanvi." His hand comes up to rest gently on my hair. "You deserve all the love... even if it's not mine to give."

I close my eyes at his words, a sharp ache blooming in my chest. Guilt laces through me. "I hope you find the best woman for you," I whisper, breaking the hug and forcing a small smile. "Next time we meet, I hope I see you with that deserving woman," I add.

He chuckles softly, nodding.

"Goodbye, Shaurya," I say, waving.

"Goodbye, Saanvi," he replies.

I step into the car and slide into the backseat, shutting the door behind me.

--------------

I enter the hotel room and pause, frowning as I drop my bag onto the bed. It's empty. Where is he?

A moment later, I hear the door unlock. He walks in, glances at me, and moves straight to the couch, pouring himself a glass of water and taking a slow drink.

"We leave tomorrow, so make sure you pack everything,"

Something feels different about him. I notice he's changed into another shirt. "You changed your shirt?" I ask.

He stops for a moment, then nods. "What do you want to eat? I'll order it," he adds, glancing at his phone.

"I'm not hungry. I had a meal before the concert. I'm still full," I say. He just nods.

"So sleep. I'll wake you when we have to leave," he says. I head to the bathroom to change into casual clothes.

When I come back, he's on the couch, absorbed in his laptop.

"Aren't you going to sleep?" I ask, sitting on the bed.

He shakes his head without looking at me.

I sigh, turn off the night lamp beside me, and lie back. After a while, I just stare at the ceiling. I don't know why I can't sleep. I turn from side to side, but it doesn't help. It feels empty. There's this constant urge and ache for Rudra to be here, I want him to pull me close and hold me while I sleep. Those dreams, the ones where he's finally here, are the reason I can't find rest tonight.

✿✿✿✿✿

"What's wrong with you?" I finally ask, looking at him sitting beside me. Since yesterday, he's been acting strange, and this morning, the moment we got here for the private jet, he barely spoke.

He flips a page in the magazine without looking at me. "Nothing's wrong," he says.

I sigh and grab the book I've been reading from my lap, opening it to distract myself.

"A hand that doesn't reach back isn't yours to hold," I read aloud from the page, glancing at him. "I bet you don't believe in this quote, do you?" I try, hoping to break through the silence. "Oh, in case you don't understand-it means-"

He cut me off, "A hand that doesn't reach back isn't yours to hold, it's the universe's way of reminding you that some things aren't meant to belong, no matter how desperately you ache for them. Some people are never meant to stay, no matter how much we want them to because love is not possession, it's a resonance" His eyes drop to the book in my hand. "And I do. Now, I do believe in this."

My eyebrows crease, disbelief creeping in. "Oh," I murmur, unsure if I want to ask more.

✿✿✿✿✿

I wake up groggy, the heaviness of travel still pressing down on my limbs. The clock reads 2:15 in the afternoon. My body feels drained after the long flight back from New York.

Just as I'm about to get up, my phone buzzes. Dhruv's name flashes on the screen. A small smile tugs at my lips before I answer.

"What's up, Rockstar?"

He chuckles, "Good. And I'm really sorry, di, I couldn't meet you that day. But why the hell did you leave so early?"

I sigh, leaning back against the headboard. "I wasn't feeling well. But Dhruv I watched your performance. Believe me, you nailed it. You sang so well. I loved it, really."

"Thank you," he says softly. "By the way, I'm coming back to India tomorrow."

A smile spreads across my face. "Finally."

"And tell me, what's happening in your life? Everything good?"

My fingers twist against my lap. My lips press into a thin line. "Hmm."

"Is there something you want to say?"

I hesitate. The words crowd in my throat but refuse to come out. Finally, I take a long breath. "It's about Rudra."

On the other end, I hear him exhale sharply. "What about him? Is he bothering you again?"

I shake my head, though he can't see me. "No. He isn't." I pause, searching for the right words. "Dhruv... I think he's changed. He's different. He actually cares for me. He's there for me everywhere. He fights for me. He protects me and I also lo-"

"And? Something else?" Dhruv cuts me off sharply before I can finish, "Are you seriously the same Saanvi? What happened to you, di? You're not the same anymore. How can you believe all this? Just because he's acting like he cares now, you're melting for him? Don't tell me you're actually going to give him another chance."

I swallow hard, my heartbeat feels unsteady, restless. "But he has changed, Dhruv. He isn't like before-"

"Oh, really?" His scoffs, "Let me remind you. You trusted him once as a friend, and he betrayed you. Why? Because he claimed he loved you and nearly forced you into marriage. Even after that, you still gave him the benefit of the doubt, thought maybe marriage would make him different. And what did he do? Betrayed you again. You want the truth? He doesn't give a damn about you. He's manipulative, selfish, a man who only thinks of himself. You give him a chance, and he'll break you. Because men like him always do."

My fists clench, nails biting into my palm. Sweat beads along my forehead. "Maybe he had his reasons," I mutter, my energy to trust him draining fast.

He laughs bitterly, "So that's it? You're willing to excuse the hurt as long as there's some 'reason'? Di, open your eyes. He was a fuckboy, you know it. He's slept with half the models and actresses in this country, and now it's you. You really think you're the exception? The moment you choose him, he'll throw you aside like he's done with everyone else. Even if you stay together, what makes you so sure he won't cheat? Last time there was just a misunderstanding, and instead of listening to you, he ran off to a club. Fine, he didn't cheat, I saw the proof myself. But what about next time? What if he doesn't believe you again, and that time he really does cheat? What then? How will you survive that? You still have time to walk away. Do it now, before it goes too far."

I wipe at my forehead, but the sweat keeps building, blurring with the tears pressing at my eyes. My vision swims, the room closing in. Every word of his feels like a strike, tearing at the thin fabric of trust I've been trying so hard to hold together.

"A fuckboy like him doesn't deserve love, di."

I hung up and threw the phone onto the bed. My hands tangled into my hair as tears slipped from my eyes.

It's so confusing. I don't know what I should do. Naina and Shaurya's words tell me to follow my heart, to give him a chance, because I love him, truly, without a doubt. But Dhruv's words... they aren't wrong either. I still remember the way my chest constricted when he admitted he had slept with another woman. Even if it wasn't true, in that moment I felt like I couldn't breathe, like I was about to die. And the truth is, he has slept around. What if he does it again? What if one day he falls out of love and goes back to random women?

Last time, I survived because I didn't love him. But now... now I do. And if that happens, I know it will break me in a way I might never recover from. I don't want to go through that kind of pain again.

Right now, I'm torn in two directions, I'm fucking terrified. I want to be with him, but I'm scared too. I'm too scared to make a choice, too scared to open my heart fully.

"Mumma..." I whisper, wiping at my tears. I can't help it, I want her here. If she were here, she would have told me what to do.

A sharp pain shoots through my head, making me clutch at my hair even tighter. My throat burns as I shut my eyes, choking on the weight of it all.

"Pearl?"

My eyes snap open, but my nails dig into my scalp as tears blur my vision.

"Are you okay? Shall I call a doctor?"

I look up and see him standing beside my bed, his eyes fixed on me, concern written all over his face. I stare at him for a long moment, then push myself to my feet and face him.

"If you're not okay, I'll call a doctor-"

"I should have left you to die the day of your accident."

He says nothing, just stares at me. I step closer, my hands gripping his shoulders. "Why? Why did we even have to meet, Rudra? If only that day I had ignored you, left you on the road... I wouldn't have to be in this place." I sniff back tears, my head pounding, my body burning with everything I've kept inside.

"You know what? When I was in New York, I thought my life was dull, meaningless, that I hated everything about it. But now... after a year in India, I realize the mistake wasn't just coming back. The mistake was ever letting you touch my life. You are the biggest mistake I've ever made. The worst decision I've ever had to live with."

My fists clutch his shirt as anger consume me. I look at his face, blurred through tears. "How the fuck did I end up with a fuckboy like you, Rudra? You played all your life, and then... you married me and somehow I was supposed to trust you? I can't stand it. I can't stand that I married you. That I let myself be tied to someone who has no right to be here at all." He keeps his eyes down, saying nothing.

"I should have chosen Shaurya." My voice cracks as I break into tears. He finally looks up, and I see the tears in his eyes too.

"Why the hell do I have to be with you, when Shaurya... my best friend... was always there for me. He loves me, he's not complicated, he doesn't play games with my heart. I had someone real in front of me, someone who deserved me. And still... I got married to you. A man I've always despised, always hated. A man I never wanted. You weren't even a choice, I was trapped by your ego, your obsession, your arrogance. And now I'm here... stuck in this mess, pretending it's okay. But it isn't. It's suffocating." I press closer to him, crying into his chest. "I just... I just want to go back to New York and live peacefully again. Everything here is so tiring." I collapse against his chest, letting the tears fall freely.

Soon I feel his hands on my waist, holding me tightly, and instinctively, I clutch him back.

"I'm sorry." His voice was hoarse. "I'm sorry for putting you in this state. But don't worry, Pearl. I've realized it too. I'll make sure things go back to the way they should." He pulls back slightly, cupping my cheeks in his hands. "I won't ask you for anything. Just... one wish, Pearl. Tonight... come with me to our place. One last time."

-----------------

I watch the night spread below us, orange and yellow lights flickering against the darkness, and above, stars scattered across the sky. Our usual place. Our night view.

"This place... it's special to me. Do you know why?"

I glance at him, he stands beside me, looking at me the way he always does.

"Because you confessed your feelings to me here for the first time," I say.

He gives a small, smile. "It's because this place is your favorite." He steps closer, sliding his hand into mine. His hands are warm, always warm, even against my cold ones. He rubs them gently, trying to share the heat.

"I need to know, Pearl. I have to make a decision, and it depends on your answer." He takes a deep breath, clutching my hands tightly. "Do you... love Shaurya?"

My eyes snap at him, startled. No. I've never loved him, never. I just stare at him, my heart is hammering.

"Okay," he says softly. "Let me make it simpler. If you ever had to choose... Shaurya or me... who would you choose?"

"The moment you choose him, he'll throw you aside, like he's done with everyone else."

My heart pounds so fast it feels like it might burst. I love him. I want him. I want to reach for him, to bury myself in him, to tell him that I would choose him. But fear claws at me. What if I get hurt again? What if I lose myself-

"Who... who would you choose, Pearl? Shaurya or me?"

I swallow and tears blur my vision. "Shaurya."

I see the instant change in him. His grip on my hand loosens, his shoulders slump. I see the quiet fall of a few tears from his red rimmed eyes.

Slowly he pulls me into a soft hug. "I love you so much," he whispers against my hair, his tears warm on my shoulder. My heart twists painfully.

After a moment, he breaks the hug, just enough to look at me. His eyes are red, blurred with unshed tears, and he carefully wipes mine away. "You shouldn't cry for me,"

"One day, I'll stop crying over you," I murmur.

He presses his forehead to mine, closing his eyes. "One day, I won't be here to see if you did,"

The words strike sharp, stabbing through my chest. I shut my eyes, the ache in my heart so sudden and bitter I can barely breathe.

He kisses my forehead gently, then both cheeks, lingering in a quiet reverence and then he takes my knuckles in his hands, pressing soft kisses onto the backs of them before intertwining one of his with mine.

"Let's go," he murmurs, guiding me toward the car, his hand warm and firm around mine, and I follow, unable to tear myself away from the faint echo of his presence.

------------------

"This isn't the way to our home. Where are you taking me?" I ask, frowning as he turns onto a different route. I glance at him, but he doesn't answer, just keeps driving. My stomach twists in unease.

Finally the car stops. "Singhania mansion?" I ask, he steps out and comes around, opening my door. I hesitate for a second before climbing out.

He looks at me before taking my hand and guiding me through the main gate. I notice OG standing there.

We stop in front of him, and I glance back at Rudra, unsure what's happening. OG looks tense, his eyes flicking between us.

"What's going on? Why did you bring me here?"

"You'll live here from now on," he says brushing his fingers over my cheek before he pulls his hands away and steps back, looking at OG. "I'll leave now."

I freeze, heart tightening. "Leave? Where? Why?" I ask, panic creeping in. I thought he'd stay.

OG calls out to him, stepping closer. "You don't have to do this. Just... come back here with us."

"Dad, don't worry. Everything's fine. Just-" his eyes catch mine, "-take care." He looks back at Og. " and I'm fine. You trust me, right?"

"I do," Og answers, but there's strain in it. "But you don't have to live like this, alone Rudra, try to underst-"

"Please, Dad." Rudra cuts him off and the plea in his tone makes Og sigh. Og exhales, defeated. He pulls Rudra into a hug, patting his back in a way men do when words aren't enough.

"If you need anything, call me directly." His voice cracks on the last word before he lets go.

Rudra holds my gaze for a moment before his mouth curves into a small, tight lipped smile. "Goodbye, Pearl."

And just like that, he turns and walks away. I stand frozen, watching as his car rolls past the main gate, taillights fading into the distance. Something twists inside my chest. That single word goodbye, doesn't sit right. It feels too final for what should have been a simple parting.

I turn to Og, "What's going on?"

He shakes his head too quickly. "Nothing. He just needs some space. Don't worry, come inside." He drapes an arm around my shoulders and steers me back toward the mansion.

But I look over my shoulder one last time, the driveway was already empty.

Why did it sound like he was saying goodbye to more than just tonight?

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