(If you’re reading this story on Scrollstack, please note that it still needs editing. I’ve posted all the chapters here just to keep a backup and did it in a bit of a hurry. If you’d like to read the properly edited version, you can find it on Wattpad @whiskeybutterfly — the link is also in my Scrollstack bio.
Thank you ❤️)
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•AUTHOR'S POV•
"My precious..."
Her body went still. A tremor crawled down her spine. She opened her eyes slowly.
A cherry blossom tree loomed above her, petals drifting like snow through a golden haze. The sunlight filtered through the branches in warm streaks, but none of it touched her skin.
She turned. And her breath stopped. There, just a few steps away... Her mother. Suhana, draped in white stood there.
"Mumma..." The word cracked open her throat. It came out strangled, broken. And with it, the dam burst. Her legs buckled.
She fell forward onto her knees, sobs ripping from her chest as if they had been buried in her ribs for years, clawing their way out.
"Mumma..." Her hands reached for her like a child lost in a crowd, like a daughter who had been holding her breath for eighteen long, cruel years.
This is it.
I had fought long enough.
Suffered long enough.
Now, I could rest. She thought
She closed her eyes, letting the tears fall. Her fingers curled into the grass. She didn't care if it was a dream, a lie, or death.
She stood up and took one shaky step toward her mother, heart pounding like a drum in a hollow cave.
But with every step she took, her mother drifted back softly, silently.
"No-please!"
Panic shot through her. She reached forward, arms outstretched, desperate.
"Don't leave me again. Please!"
But Suhana only stood there still and calm. Her eyes didn't move. It was like the wind was pulling her away.
"Why are you doing this?"
Suhana tilted her head, the way she used to when Saanvi was small, after scraping knees and broken dolls and questions that never had answers.
"So this is how you want it to end?"
Saanvi shook her head violently. "I just... I just want to be with you."
Suhana's gaze softened. "Then live. That's the only way you'll ever find me again."
The words didn't soothe her. She stumbled back, choking on air. Her fists clenched until her nails dug into her palms, until they stung. Until she could feel something.
"I held on, Mumma." Her voice erupted from her throat. "For eighteen years do you hear me? Eighteen years I held on! I crawled through every night that tried to swallow me whole, fought with those scary demons. I woke up every goddamn morning when I didn't want to. I kept breathing when I forgot how!"
She hit her chest with her fist, once, twice. Trying to keep herself from falling apart. "Because of you. Because you said, because we promised." Her shoulders shook as sobs dragged through her. "But it hurts. It hurts so much, Mumma. I'm tired. I'm so tired."
Her legs gave out and she collapsed again completely crumpling into herself.
"I called for you.I begged you. Just for a moment. Just once. But you... you never came."
The silence was louder than thunder.
"You don't care either, do you?" She looked up through blurred vision.
And Suhana...She was crying. Quietly. The way only a mother does holding back more pain than she ever speaks aloud.
"Ye kya kar diya maine, Mumma?"
(What have I done, Mumma?)
Her voice shook as her hands dug into the ground, clutching earth like it was the only thing keeping her tethered.
"Maine sab khatam kar diya. (I ruined everything) Our family... our life. I broke it all. It's my fault. My mistake. I destroyed you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Mumma." She clutched her arms around herself, sobbing so hard she could barely stay conscious.
"Stop trying to fix what was never yours to break, Saanvi."
Saanvi gasped through the tears.
"You were a child. Not a saviour. You can't keep killing yourself for a past you couldn't control."
"And baby..." Suhana's voice broke into a whisper. "Every time you whisper 'Mumma' into the dark... I scream back but eternity has no echo."
Saanvi whimpered. Her hands trembled.
"You think you're honoring me by staying broken. But you're not. You're just burying both of us deeper." Suhana stepped closer. Her eyes were full of ache, of love, of unspoken years.
"If you truly loved me..." Suhana's touch hovered near her cheek but never landed. "...Then don't let my death be the end of your story."
Saanvi looked up. Destroyed, empty but breathing.
"Let's end it, Mumma. Let me end myself... and let's meet again in another life. You'll be my Mumma again. And Dad... Vikram bhai... all of us-please-just give me one chance. I swear, I won't repeat that mistake again. We'll live together... happily. Please, M..Mumma."
"You cry for me like I'm gone," Suhana said softly, "but I'm right here just not in the way you want. And I never will be." She smiled, slow and sad, tears glistening. "That's the part you have to live through."
Then came the words that undid everything, "Move on, my precious. Move on... from your Mumma."
Saanvi's soul broke. Like porcelain struck with a hammer.
Her lips parted. A whisper barely audible, but laced with devastation.
"The only gift I have is your memory. How... how can you ask me to move on?" She looked at her through a veil of tears. "You think I could erase you? Your memory... that's my loyalty."
"Your memory is loyal, Saanvi. But loyalty shouldn't taste like self-destruction. You deserve more than being the grave keeper of my memory... because your grief has turned me into a cage. And I was never meant to imprison you."
Saanvi's gaze lifted to meet hers, breath trembling, chest barely rising.
"I left love for you as my last gift, my precious... not ruin."
Those words felt deeper than any goodbye.
"You think staying in pain keeps me close... but it's when you stop looking for me in the silence, and start feeling me in your heartbeat, that's when I'm alive in you."
"P-please... don't say that, Mumma..." Saanvi shook her head. Her hands trembled in her lap,
"Your story deserves a better ending," Suhana's voice cracked. She tilted her head, watching her daughter shatter all over again.
"The war isn't over, my precious... and you don't win it by dying with me. You win it by choosing to live without me."
Saanvi gasped. Like her lungs had forgotten how to hold air.
"I want you back, Mumma..." she managed. "Either take me with you... or come with me."
Suhana smiled.
Not the sad one. Not the ghost of love.
This one was full. Serene. The kind that tucked her in as a child.
"The day your tears turn into a smile when you whisper my name... when you laugh and the world doesn't feel guilty for being beautiful without me... that's when I'll come back to you."
"You're lying!" Saanvi's face twisted with anguish. Tears streamed down, her lips quivered violently.
"You said I'd feel you in my heartbeat! But I don't feel anything! Those things are bullshit," She screamed the words through tears, through grief.
Suhana closed her eyes. Then opened them slowly. Her eyes shimmered, as if this goodbye had killed something in her too.
Her voice was soft. Final.
"Go back, Saanvi."
Saanvi's heart clenches in panic.
She shook her head. Desperate. Terrified.
"Mumma... n-no... please don't send me back-"
She reached for her. Crawled toward her like she was air. Like she was life.
"Please-I'm not ready to lose you again..."
But Suhana smiled again. A mother's final blessing.
"Complete our last promise, my precious."
And then in a blink, the world went blank. The blossoms vanished. The light dimmed.
Saanvi gasped, her hands searching through the nothingness. "Mumma?" she whispered. "Mumma, where are you?"
She stood, spun, searched, but there was nothing. She was gone. Again.
"Sinus rhythm returning... we've got a pulse!"
Her chest rose, barely. A fragile, uneven breath. As if her lungs had forgotten how to move. As if her body had to remember what it meant to be alive.
Her pupils shrank slowly in response to the harsh white light.
And then, a sudden gasp, she jerked.
Her spine arched off the mattress, a violent breath ripping through her throat. Her lungs expanded too quickly, then collapsed.
Her entire frame convulsed once twice as though her body wasn't ready to return but was dragged back anyway.
"Saanvi! Stay with us!"
Her eyelids fluttered. She opened them halfway. Bloodshot, unfocused. Her amber eyes, dulled and lost, scanned the ceiling.
"Inform them she's safe."
Everything was noise, muffled voices, beeping machines, chaos.
Her lips parted, cracked and trembling, but no sound came. Only breath. Dry and shallow.
Like life itself hurts.
And in the silence between the chaos... a tear slipped down her temple.
Because in the deep marrow of her bones... she already knew.
She came back. But her mother didn't.
A silent sob crumpled inside her chest.
Again... she was abandoned.
✿✿✿✿
T w o w e e k s l a t e r
"Saanvi?"
There was no response.
She sat by the window, curled up on the chair like a fragile shadow of herself arms wrapped tightly around her knees, head resting limply atop them. Her eyes, dull and hollow, stared blankly through the glass.
Adrika stepped in with a soft sigh, her heart heavy at the sight, again the same scene. Two weeks. Two weeks of watching Saanvi wither away, inch by inch, like a fading photograph.
Her body looked thinner, almost frail. Collar bones sharp, cheekbones sunken, dark circles painting bruises under her empty amber eyes.
Adrika walked closer and crouched in front of her, holding a food platter and forcing a small smile.
"Saanvi... it's time for dinner."
Silence.
"Beta, at least look at me," she tried, voice soft hopeful. She gently lifted the spoon, bringing it toward Saanvi's lips like she had done every day since they brought her to the Singhania Mansion.
"Saanvi, please. You need to eat. You have to take your medicines too."
Still nothing.
"Saanvi, you'll be wea-"
A sharp gasp escaped Adrika's lips as the food tray crashed to the floor. Saanvi had slapped it away with a sudden jolt. She stood up abruptly, hands shaking, her chest heaving with ragged breaths.
"Saanvi-"
"Just shut up!" she snapped, her voice raw and cracking. "I'm not weak! How many times do I have to say that?!"
Adrika flinched.
"I hate this-I hate when you and your husband keep coming like I'm some patient! Like I'm some broken thing to fix!"
"Saanvi, please don't force yourself like this, baccha," Adrika stepped forward carefully. "This isn't good for you. Please don't raise your voice-"
"Oh, so now I can't even speak?" Saanvi snapped, her voice trembling with both exhaustion and fury. "You think you can control that too?"
"No, baccha, please don't twist it like that," Adrika said, her voice cracking as she took some more hesitant step forward. "Doctor Meera said the aftershocks are still present, you shouldn't strain yourself or let your breathing spike."
"Don't touch me!" Saanvi jerked back, "Just stop pretending like this!"
"I'm not pretending, beta," Adrika said, her eyes glistening with unfallen tears. "I'm just worried."
"Yes, you are! You both forced me to live here when I wanted to be alone!"
"To die?" another voice interrupted from the doorway.
They turned. Abhiraj stood there, holding another food tray in hand.
He walked in slowly, set the tray down on the nightstand, and gave a brief, glance at Adrika before stepping in front of Saanvi.
"Eat your food," he said firmly.
"Don't order me," Saanvi snapped.
"I will," he replied coolly. "Because I know your father never told you how to follow orders."
Her eyes widened, fury flaring. "You're not my father! And I don't take orders from anyone!"
He nodded. "And you're not my daughter either. But I'll be damned if I let a human being starve to death under my roof."
Her bottom lip quivered. Her fists clenched as her voice rose again. "Then why the fuck did you lock me up in this house?! I never wanted to come here, I never asked for your pity!"
"Enough of this nonsense, Saanvi. Eat the damn food," he snapped.
"Abhi-" Adrika whispered, placing a hand on his arm.
"What, Adrika?" he said, turning slightly toward her. "Can't you see? She's not going to melt just because you speak sweetly. She's not that kind. She's stubborn. And stubborn children need to be handled the way they fight or more like-" He turned to saanvi his eyes slightly softened. "-She's just angry. And the only language anger listens to... is truth."
Saanvi's eyes flooded, her face contorting with pain as his words sank in.
"Abhi-please," Adrika whispered, but he had already grabbed her hand.
"Let's go."
"Abhi, but-"
"She needs space," he cut her off firmly.
Adrika looked back one last time as he gently tugged her toward the door, her chest tightening at the sight of Saanvi standing there lips trembling, eyes full of shattered glass.
Abhiraj paused at the doorway and turned around.
"One last thing," he said.
Saanvi looked up.
"Don't ever speak to my wife like that again,"
"Shut up." Adrika whispered, tugging at his hand again. She turned to Saanvi and spoke softly.
"If you need anything, beta... just call me. I'll be here. And don't lock the door okay?"
Then they were gone.
And Saanvi was left alone again. In silence.
✿✿✿✿✿
1:00 AM at night
Some muffled noises stirred the stillness.
Adrika blinked her heavy eyes open from where she had dozed off on the couch, her body half-slouched, arms loosely folded. "Abhiraj..." she whispered, rubbing her forehead as she sat up straighter.
Abhiraj stirred at the sound, groaning faintly as he pushed himself off the armrest he had been leaning on. His hands were bent awkwardly under his chin, neck stiff. But the moment he looked toward the bed, he froze.
Saanvi was curled under the blanket again. Her chest heaved in jagged bursts and soft whimpers spilled out, barely audible.
They had seen this exact frame for two weeks now.
But it never got easier.
Abhiraj stood up instantly.
Adrika followed, wide awake now. They rushed to her bed without thinking, dropping to either side of her.
"Saanvi... hey, Saanvi-wake up," Abhiraj said softly, slapping her cheeks gently, his fingers brushing across her damp skin.
But she was locked in again, the same hellish loop sleep, fear, paralysis.
Her face was twisted in fear. Her eyes stayed shut, yet her entire body trembled limbs jerking slightly, mouth parting as though gasping for something that wasn't air, her back subtly arching.
She wasn't sleeping. She was stuck.
Trapped somewhere deep screaming without sound, seeing things they couldn't see. The black void. Hands grabbing her. Darkness swallowing her whole.
"Saanvi baccha, wake up," Adrika said, she gently pulled Saanvi's head into her lap, stroking her hair with one hand, cupping her damp cheek with the other.
Abhiraj grabbed the water glass nearby, wet his hand, and sprinkled cool droplets on her face.
"Saanvi, you're not there anymore. You're safe. Just open your eyes. "
Then a sudden gasp ripped through her chest like she had just surfaced from deep water. Her eyes shot open wide, blinking wildly, lost. She jolted upright, dragging herself out of Adrika's lap, her body recoiling like she still wasn't sure if she had escaped.
Her breaths came fast and shallow, as if air wasn't reaching her lungs.
She blinked her head snapping in different directions. The room was still dim.
Abhiraj noticed immediately. He rushed to the switch and flicked the lights on.
But even light wasn't enough to undo darkness when it was inside you.
Saanvi's face was soaked, sweat, water, tears, her hair stuck to her forehead. Her hands were trembling badly, her chest rising and falling like her lungs couldn't catch up.
Her eyes, bloodshot and glassy, didn't see the room. They saw the shadows she had just escaped from.
"Saanvi," Adrika whispered, holding out her hand.
She grabbed onto her clutching her saree, fingers curling into the soft fabric like it was the only thing anchoring her.
Adrika reached forward, pressing her hand against her cheek, thumb brushing gently beneath her eye. "See? It's over. The lights are on. There's no darkness here. Look around, see us."
But Saanvi's head shook once, twice then harder. "No. No, he said he's coming back... he said... he said he'll kill m..."
Her voice cracked mid-sentence, her body folding in on itself as the sobs spilled out again.
Same words. Same breakdown. Night after night.
But it never made it easier to watch.
Every night was like this. Every night since she came here.
They always made sure Saanvi never locked her door ever since then. They stayed nearby, waiting just like tonight because they knew sleep wasn't kind to her anymore.
Adrika's eyes welled up, just like they did every time. She glanced at Abhiraj across the bed, Abhiraj blinked at her.
"Saanvi."
She turned her head slowly, her tear-drenched gaze finding his.
Abhiraj reached out and gently placed his hand over her head, fingers warm and careful.
"Are you scared?" he asked softly.
She didn't answer. Her lip quivered, then she nodded.
And a guttural cry slipped out.
He pulled her into his arms without hesitation. She buried her face in his chest shaking, breathless, soaking the fabric with tears that never seemed to run out.
Abhiraj pressed a hand to the back of her head, his jaw tight, trying to hold back the lump rising in his own throat.
"I'm not letting anyone near you, beta, I promise," he whispered. "No one will hurt you again, I won't let anyone touch you,"
And for some reason, those words broke her again.
Maybe because they were said with the kind of certainty only a father could have.
She didn't know why it hurt more when someone held her like this maybe because it reminded her of what she never had.
Or maybe because someone finally said it: You're safe.
Abhiraj tightened his hold. "If anyone ever comes near you again I swear to God I'll tear them apart. They won't even get to breathe in your direction."
His hands were trembling too. He'd seen Saanvi throw daggers with her words, hold her chin high like nothing could touch her. But this? This was the side she buried deep fragile and aching.
The kind of hurt she never showed in daylight. The kind that lived in the quiet, in the dark. When the world wasn't watching.
She wasn't just scared. She was haunted.
And no matter how many times they saw her like this... it still broke something inside them.
The kind only a parent feels when they see their child break and can't fix it.
Eventually, her sobs softened.
Her eyes fluttered closed not out of peace, but exhaustion. Her breathing slowed, uneven but quieter.
She didn't let go of Adrika's saree.
And she didn't lift her head from Abhiraj's chest.
Adrika gently ran her fingers through her hair as she drifted off again-
her body finally giving in.
"Who is it that Saanvi's afraid of?" Adrika whispered, eyes fixed on the girl resting against Abhiraj's chest.
She watched the way Saanvi was still clutching the edge of her saree with trembling fingers as if afraid that letting go would pull her back into whatever horror she had just escaped.
Saanvi the same woman who walked through fire with her head high, who never backed down from anyone was now gasping for air in her sleep, haunted by something none of them could name.
Is it the demons in her mind that scare her? Or is it someone real someone who still exists in the world outside this room?
Adrika couldn't tell anymore.
Abhiraj shifted slightly, adjusting the way Saanvi rested against him, like he was holding a glass figurine that might shatter if he moved too fast. His hand cradled the back of her head, thumb brushing slowly through her hair, grounding her even in sleep.
"Whoever it is, Adrika... I swear they won't come near her again."
A promise. Not made from rage. But from something stronger, conviction.
"I'll make sure of it," he added, eyes locked on the fragile woman in his arms.
______________________________________________________________________________
Roye toh nahi na?
So how's the first chapter guys? Let me know your thoughts And yeah I know the start is a bit heavy 😔 but I'm not going to say "you'll smile later" 😼 this whole book is going to have you crying your eyes out. If you cried in Passionate Devotion trust me, this one will hit you even harder. 😘
And sorry the chapter is a bit long. Just bear with it this time.
As for the posting schedule I used to update almost in alternate days because I had like 6 to 7 chapters ready to go but right now I haven't written any new chapters yet. Don't worry, I'm not saying I won't update, it's just gonna be a bit slower for the next 1-2 months while I get those chapters ready. So expect updates about 3 times a week
Thank you so much for reading, and let me know if you liked the chapter! Also, if you did, you can vote.
Love y'all<3🦋


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